When She Died, A Little Part Of Me Did Too
by starlight1228
Summary: I awake each morning to start a new day. But the pain of loosing you never goes away. I go about the things I have to do. And as the hours pass I think again of you. I want to call you and just hear your voice. Then I remember that I have no choice. For you are not there and now my heart cries. Tali was killed seven months ago. Why did she too have to go so soon?


**For clarification this is set in the late 1990's or early 2000's. This is according to my math.**

* * *

It was a bright, sunny, and unbearably hot day in Tel Aviv. In other words it was the same as any other. Ziva David reported to work and sat at her desk until she was needed outside of the State of Israel. Which was quite often. She had moved up from courier and security detail work rather quickly, but Eli had trained her like he trained no one else. Now she was on the Infiltration Squad. Walking up to the monstrous building that was the Mossad headquarters, Ziva heard a few coworkers on the phone with their families, asking them how their tents were and such. No one at Mossad got Sukkot off unfortunately, but it was understandable to those who were not new to the game. The safety of a nation of seven million people was more important than a week long holiday. But the people at Mossad were never the most observant of religion.

* * *

Seventy-seven kilometers away Rivka David was walking down a street in the holiest city of Judaism, Jerusalem. It was Sukkot and she was going to meet her brother near the Western Wall. Rivka saw a Arab boy sweating nervously by himself. Rivka looked around for anyone that could be his parents. Everyone here was a Jew enjoying Shabbat. She walked over, maybe she could help him.

* * *

A Shin Bet team was running out the doors, barking to each other in Hebrew, a few swears were muttered in Arabic as well. As soon as Ziva entered the working area of the Mossad officers, it was madness. Amit Hadar was yelling from the balcony, Malachai Ben-Gideon was rifling through a filing cabinet, spilling papers everywhere. Liat Tuvia was running to retrieve papers from wherever someone needed them. Micheal Rivkin was on the phone, yelling in Farsi. Amit Hadar laid eyes on Ziva.

"Ziva!" he yelled, "kvul b'telfon _akhshio_! Any rotzh ldat ikh lazazl zih kruh!" Ziva nodded and sprinted to her desk directly across from Michaels. As soon as he hung up she threw a pen at him.

"What is going on?" she mouthed.

* * *

"Are you lost?" Rivka asked kindly in her rudimentary Arabic. She had grown up in the former Soviet republic that now called itself Russia. She knew several Slavic languages, so Arabic hadn't come easily to her. The little boy shook his head, reaching into his pocket for something.

* * *

"Some sort of bombing near the Western Wall. No one has heard a whisper of it before," Michael managed to say before someone swatted his hand with a Haaretz newspaper to remind him of his job. He made an apologetic face and threw himself into the mounds of intel they had received.

Ziva risked a glance up at the balcony, Amit was watching her like a hawk until Eli walked out of his office. He grabbed Amits shoulder and whispered something in his ears. He hadn't looked this upset in years, not since... Zivas thoughts were lost as Eli looked her dead in the eyes. He motioned for her to come to his office. Suddenly Ari's voice crackled through the phone.

"Ziva, I cannot talk long, what is going on?" Ari asked in Arabic.

"There was a bombing at the Western Wall. Did you hear anything about it?" Ziva asked sharply. For some reason this bombing had gotten to her more than the others she had worked.

"No. No Ziva. I would have told you. I must go," Ari said hurriedly before hanging up. Slowly, Ziva hung up the phone. She wasn't seeing something. Quickly she hurried up the stairs to Eli's office. She wasn't quite prepared for what she saw.

Eli was sitting at his desk, staring at something she couldn't see.

"Eli, Ari had no knowledge of the bombing," she said clear as a bell. He didn't move a muscle. "Eli," she repeated. Then it hit her. The missing piece. Ima was going to the Western Wall for part of a Sukkot celebration with her brother.

"Eli, is Ima all right?" Ziva asked with immense urgency. "Eli!" she said louder, no one outside could hear them. "Eli!" she yelled. "Abba!" she cried and he snapped his head to look at her. His eyes were red and puffy.

"No," she said in disbelief. "No!" Ziva cried. Eli rose from his desk, the movement seemed to take all the life out of him. His face looked shrunken in the fluorescent lighting.

"Ziva," he said so quietly she had to strain to hear him. "Rivka," he started, choking on the rest of the sentence. "Rivka," he tried again, but his voice failed him. "Rivka was killed in the blast," he said finally and Ziva let her tears loose. Seeing she was about to fall Eli hugged her. For once in nearly ten years, Ziva didn't resist. Eli finally let his tears out too. Only seven months ago they had lost Tali, beautiful Tali, in a Hamas suicide bombing at one of her favorite shopping malls in Beer Sheva. Rivka and Ziva couldn't bear it anymore and they left town, heading north for Haifa. Neither Rivka or Ziva had tried to contact Eli after their move, Tali was the only one who bothered to call him. That had been three years ago. And this was all they had left to talk to.

Eli had wanted to call up Rivka, see if they could be friends, even acquaintances. But he told himself she would call him on her own time. When she was ready.

Ziva had wanted to go out with her, maybe go shopping in Tel Aviv. But she had been too busy with work. She told herself she'd go on the next holiday, the next anniversary.

* * *

Rivka's funeral was in high attendance, just like Tali's. The bombing had been only yesterday, but Jewish custom called for the body to be in the ground within three days of death. Not that there was much left. Ziva and Eli had both been given a week off from Mossad to sit Shiva. When the rabbi called for it, Ziva and Eli tore their collars in unison. The harsh memory of Tali's funeral seven months before also came into their minds. Eli had arranged for Rivka to be buried next to Tali, whose grave was covered with rocks from friends who came to visit her. Many of them were from Ziva and Eli, though neither knew it. They were buried on a hill facing east outside Jerusalem. Eli and Ziva even planted their olive trees next to each other.

After they planted the olive trees Eli and Ziva found themselves face to face. Eli had tried to connect with Ziva, but she only shut him out.

"Ziva," he began but she held up her hand.

"I know, you want me to understand why your work is so important. Just don't use Tali and Ima to justify it," Ziva said crossly.

"Ziva let me finish!" Eli said, slightly annoyed. All Ziva did sometimes was write him off as trying to manipulate her. Ziva scowled and looked him in the eyes.

"You have five minutes," she said dangerously.

"I think we are made from the same block," he said, trying to borrow the English idiom. Ziva had returned from Belize rather recently and they spoke English there. Ziva frowned and he shook his head. "I think we are similar in the way we shut the other out," Eli said, surprising Ziva. "I shouldn't bury myself in my work when I am hurt. I did that when you were young. And now I see you do it and regret it." Ziva opened her mouth to object, but stopped herself. "I want to make things better between us," Eli said with conviction.

"And next month we will be freezing the other out," Ziva said cuttingly.

"Not if we try, Ziva," Eli said sternly.

"No Eli. We have tried this before and it never works. The next month we're at each others throats. I don't want to do this. I want to get over Ima's...death... then I want to get on with my life. And I can't do that with you constantly trying to 'connect' with me. I don't want to feel I can trust you, and then you break it. You always do Eli," Ziva said with such force Eli couldn't speak. "Just let me live my life Eli. That's all I want," Ziva said, a little softer now. She placed a stone on Ima's grave and then walked over to her Mini Cooper. She had meant what she said. Every time she felt she could trust Eli, he broke it. That was fine as a child, she wanted a paternal figure. She had friends and a sister and a mother to help her get over the betrayal. The last time she had fell for it was when she discovered Eli was cheating. But now she knew better. She had no sister. She had no mother. She had no _family_. She had no friends outside Mossad. And when you slip at Mossad, it's very unlikely to get back up.

* * *

Eli knew what she felt inside. But this time was different. It had been many years since Orli and he wanted nothing to do with her, not after this. He realized just how little time he had left, perhaps Ziva's time was drawing near. He didn't know, she didn't know, only _He _knew. And Eli didn't want to get a phone call in the middle of the night saying that Ziva wouldn't be stepping on Israeli soil again. He didn't want to hear how she had gone still in some country whose government wouldn't give a damn if an Israeli dropped dead in their borders, let alone a Mossad officer. At least now she knew how he felt. And that gave him some peace.


End file.
